Like several children in the virtual world, Second Life, i have started a blog.. an online diary if you wish. Ooooh.. to be able to read the thoughts of an 8 year old Neko girl. =^.^= Well, it won't be that juicy... I will be sharing things that have happened to me on this daily journey.
BUT.. if it's negative, i will not be divulging names. As, i do not want to cause any unnecessary drama. And, you know how so many feel about drama *rolls eyes*.. leave it at the front door. Although.. it's only really considered drama if it's someone else's. Cuz, if it's your own, it's important.. right? It's not really drama, in your opinion, unless negative emotions are happening. I mean, to the person who is "starting" it, normally i don't think they're meaning to do it. For example: 2 recent drama's in my life...
Oh! i just realized, you may not know who i am. I'm going on and on about drama, and you don't even know who the heck is sharing these insights.. LOL
The name i'm most known as is: Sage Kostenbaum.. my REAL name is, as I figured out the other day.. Figured out the other day, you wonder? Haven't i always known my REAL name? Well.. Oh, and you'll find that my mind may dart from here to there.. hehe like a butterfly..
I was reading profiles.. yes, i will admit i am an avid profile reader, and there's nothing wrong with that. :) We talked about that on the show once (i'll discuss what the show is another time), about people's profiles. We found that most people like it when something is written in a person's 2nd Life profile. It makes you more comfortable with them. I like to know their background. I mean, i guess i could just ask them, but, i wouldn't know how to approach them. I have a friend named Sage Seda.. he's a boy. My friend Scrythe was Midnight Madness Board slapping one day, when he IMed me, informing me he saw another Sage.. a guy. I, of course, immediately asked him for his name, and looked him up. His profile reads: First off Sage is a boy... i IMed him, and the first thing i said was, Nah uh.. Sage IS a girl. He responded: no, Sage is a boy. Which is hilarious, cuz when i first entered the children's community, i very frequently could be found in the dance clubs, Aspen Nights, to be specific.. and quite often someone would say... SAGE IS A GIRL?! Which is so funny to me, cuz it's not like i was wearing jeans and sportin short hair. I wore dresses and had long hair. That's the EXACT reason i entered the HIM&I&US Commune. It was kinda an experiment. The "Commune", not to be confused with Koffee's Commune (I'll explain who that is in a bit too), is a place only for boys. Since so many boys have exclaimed "Sage is a girl?!", i wanted to see if anyone would notice me there. They were having a pajama party, and i borrowed a pair of Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles pajamas and wore my hair short. I had the same girly skin i always do, although some boys DO wear makeup, so i guess it doesn't matter. No one said anything to me, and later to find out that a few who did notice me, those who knew me, thought perhaps i had been made an honorary boy. Well, that was a huge drama in itself. A few days later, i bragged about being there in open chat, and it got back to one of the security guys, and i was kicked out of the group. I don't remember how i got back in.. oh! i think it was cuz i knew someone who had rites to invite people, and he got me back in. I will NEVER tell who that was.. but, i'm not even sure if he's even still in the group. Now, during all of this, some of the boys DID NOT like that i was in the group. And, rightfully so, considering that it was ONLY supposed to be for BOYS. Some felt that i was thinking it wasn't right for there to be a boys only group, or why should SHE be able to be in? Well, I DIDN'T want any other girls to be in the group, and considering that so many boys made the mistake of thinking i was one of them, and so many of my friends were in the group... why kick me out? In case you're wonder WHY all my friends were boys, it's cuz for the longest time i was not comfortable around other girls. I felt it easier to talk to boys, like they were more real. It's not until now, approximately a year and a half later, am i having the desire to have GIRL friends. I wanna dress up, have sleep overs, be silly with other girls. I only have one close girl friend.. Soboku Karu. I met her when i lived on Kikai.. and even then i was a little hesitant when my twin brother Skippy, urged me to get to know her. But, anyway.. the long of the short of it.. one of the leaders at the time, asked me if i would willingly leave the group, or he would kick me out. I asked him if he would allow me to say my goodbyes in group chat. Wow.. I opened the chat, and said something like, I have been asked to leave the group and would like to say goodbye. Immediately people were asking why? What happened? I explained and some were not happy. I mean, i never openingly discussed that i was a girl. If fact, some liked that i was in the group. Talk about drama, they ended up having a meeting about me. Several were threatening to leave if i stayed, and some were threatening to leave if i was kicked out. I met one of my closest friends, Ankii, through that meeting. He became one of my biggest supporters, cuz he felt my situation of being asked to leave because of my gender was practically no different than being scrutinized for someone being gay. Well, by the end of the night, i was allowed to stay in the group, AS LONG AS if i was on the commune grounds, i dressed as a boy, wore boy skin and hair and represented myself as a boy. I agreed. I never went to any activities really anyway.. I wasn't really comfortable being a boy. Plus, i didn't want to spend a lot of money on my looks, although, i WANTED to be a CUTE boy. The skin and shape i had.. *makes a disgusted face* I wouldn't even want to date me! LOL I did go to a couple of events. I went to a swim suit party.. and even though i had a boy's shape, i WAS NOT comfortable being topless. I also went to a dance. I bought a suit from one of my favorite boys Tsukasa Sakai (who has since "died" - deleted his account). I left the group once. Yeah, i felt that since i never went to the activities.. oh! i had a bunk there too, but i didn't sleep there.. what was the point in staying? I informed one of the leaders, Waki, that i left. He asked why? Which is ironic, considering originally he was not fond of me being in the group. He was one of the biggest supporters of me leaving. He was the one who asked me to leave. But, it was the principle.. the history.. being the only known girl to be in the group. He asked me if i'd come back. So, i did.
Why did i relate that story? *thinks for a moment* Oh yeah.. Sage Seda and profiles.. i read profiles. LOL.. Well, if you've read some of the descriptions in girls' profiles, you'll find that they often put their whole name. Their first, middle, last name and then the last names of their parent or parents. Well, MY middle name is Victoria. I received this name from Ankii. He just yelled it out once, "Sage Victoria Kostenbaum!" So, it stuck. :) I put my WHOLE name in my profile discription.. it's HUGE. As I started: the name i'm most know as is Sage Kostenbaum, my REAL name is: Sage Victoria Quintessa Dreamscape Kostenbaum Haiku. Quintessa and Dreamscape are my parents' lastnames and Haiku is my auntie's who claims she's my dad. LOLOL..
Back to when i mentioned that i've had 2 recent dramas in my life. I have had my own share of drama, and it is so true that drama makes SL miserable. Although some people like it, because without it, "life" would be dull. I am not going to discuss some of the drama i've experienced. I wish to not relive them, and this is my blog so i will choose what i will discuss. :P But, just recently i had 2, in my opinion, dramatic things happen. And, you know.. sometimes great things come from drama. You know how drama happens? We invest our feelings into this virtual place. And, i don't think we can help it. Some people call Second Life a game. To many, and myself included, Second Life is NOT a game. There are no levels to complete, you don't slay any monsters, you don't earn anything.. well, i suppose you COULD compare it to a game, (the levels of friendship, the demons you possess or those who cause your drama, you earn friendship and Linden) but it's not. But, sometimes when your feelings get hurt, you have to step back and tell yourself it isn't real, it's just a game.. but, essentially it's not a game. Anyway, i HAD a friend who owned a clothing store. She IMed me informing that she was hiring Customer Service Representatives. So, because she came directly to me, I immediately assumed, which you should NEVER do, that i would get a position. When i found out that i cried, i cried.. i CRIED in real life. I went to my room, laid down and bawled... and then i thought.. WHY AM I CRYING? Cuz, i got my hopes up. I thought i had this job nailed. Well, i asked her why she didn't employ me, and i was happy for the girls who got the positions.. turns out one she knew one for 2 years and could trust if she went out of town, and the other she wanted to give the opportunity. She knew feelings were going to get hurt. She was only hiring 2 people and many applied. Mine got hurt cuz i misunderstood her telling me. I told my mom, she went to her telling her how wonderful i am, like any mother feels about her child, and i tried to explain to this girl that i didn't want my mother to go to her.. unfortunately in the end, this girl defriended me. : [
BUT.. if it's negative, i will not be divulging names. As, i do not want to cause any unnecessary drama. And, you know how so many feel about drama *rolls eyes*.. leave it at the front door. Although.. it's only really considered drama if it's someone else's. Cuz, if it's your own, it's important.. right? It's not really drama, in your opinion, unless negative emotions are happening. I mean, to the person who is "starting" it, normally i don't think they're meaning to do it. For example: 2 recent drama's in my life...
Oh! i just realized, you may not know who i am. I'm going on and on about drama, and you don't even know who the heck is sharing these insights.. LOL
The name i'm most known as is: Sage Kostenbaum.. my REAL name is, as I figured out the other day.. Figured out the other day, you wonder? Haven't i always known my REAL name? Well.. Oh, and you'll find that my mind may dart from here to there.. hehe like a butterfly..
I was reading profiles.. yes, i will admit i am an avid profile reader, and there's nothing wrong with that. :) We talked about that on the show once (i'll discuss what the show is another time), about people's profiles. We found that most people like it when something is written in a person's 2nd Life profile. It makes you more comfortable with them. I like to know their background. I mean, i guess i could just ask them, but, i wouldn't know how to approach them. I have a friend named Sage Seda.. he's a boy. My friend Scrythe was Midnight Madness Board slapping one day, when he IMed me, informing me he saw another Sage.. a guy. I, of course, immediately asked him for his name, and looked him up. His profile reads: First off Sage is a boy... i IMed him, and the first thing i said was, Nah uh.. Sage IS a girl. He responded: no, Sage is a boy. Which is hilarious, cuz when i first entered the children's community, i very frequently could be found in the dance clubs, Aspen Nights, to be specific.. and quite often someone would say... SAGE IS A GIRL?! Which is so funny to me, cuz it's not like i was wearing jeans and sportin short hair. I wore dresses and had long hair. That's the EXACT reason i entered the HIM&I&US Commune. It was kinda an experiment. The "Commune", not to be confused with Koffee's Commune (I'll explain who that is in a bit too), is a place only for boys. Since so many boys have exclaimed "Sage is a girl?!", i wanted to see if anyone would notice me there. They were having a pajama party, and i borrowed a pair of Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles pajamas and wore my hair short. I had the same girly skin i always do, although some boys DO wear makeup, so i guess it doesn't matter. No one said anything to me, and later to find out that a few who did notice me, those who knew me, thought perhaps i had been made an honorary boy. Well, that was a huge drama in itself. A few days later, i bragged about being there in open chat, and it got back to one of the security guys, and i was kicked out of the group. I don't remember how i got back in.. oh! i think it was cuz i knew someone who had rites to invite people, and he got me back in. I will NEVER tell who that was.. but, i'm not even sure if he's even still in the group. Now, during all of this, some of the boys DID NOT like that i was in the group. And, rightfully so, considering that it was ONLY supposed to be for BOYS. Some felt that i was thinking it wasn't right for there to be a boys only group, or why should SHE be able to be in? Well, I DIDN'T want any other girls to be in the group, and considering that so many boys made the mistake of thinking i was one of them, and so many of my friends were in the group... why kick me out? In case you're wonder WHY all my friends were boys, it's cuz for the longest time i was not comfortable around other girls. I felt it easier to talk to boys, like they were more real. It's not until now, approximately a year and a half later, am i having the desire to have GIRL friends. I wanna dress up, have sleep overs, be silly with other girls. I only have one close girl friend.. Soboku Karu. I met her when i lived on Kikai.. and even then i was a little hesitant when my twin brother Skippy, urged me to get to know her. But, anyway.. the long of the short of it.. one of the leaders at the time, asked me if i would willingly leave the group, or he would kick me out. I asked him if he would allow me to say my goodbyes in group chat. Wow.. I opened the chat, and said something like, I have been asked to leave the group and would like to say goodbye. Immediately people were asking why? What happened? I explained and some were not happy. I mean, i never openingly discussed that i was a girl. If fact, some liked that i was in the group. Talk about drama, they ended up having a meeting about me. Several were threatening to leave if i stayed, and some were threatening to leave if i was kicked out. I met one of my closest friends, Ankii, through that meeting. He became one of my biggest supporters, cuz he felt my situation of being asked to leave because of my gender was practically no different than being scrutinized for someone being gay. Well, by the end of the night, i was allowed to stay in the group, AS LONG AS if i was on the commune grounds, i dressed as a boy, wore boy skin and hair and represented myself as a boy. I agreed. I never went to any activities really anyway.. I wasn't really comfortable being a boy. Plus, i didn't want to spend a lot of money on my looks, although, i WANTED to be a CUTE boy. The skin and shape i had.. *makes a disgusted face* I wouldn't even want to date me! LOL I did go to a couple of events. I went to a swim suit party.. and even though i had a boy's shape, i WAS NOT comfortable being topless. I also went to a dance. I bought a suit from one of my favorite boys Tsukasa Sakai (who has since "died" - deleted his account). I left the group once. Yeah, i felt that since i never went to the activities.. oh! i had a bunk there too, but i didn't sleep there.. what was the point in staying? I informed one of the leaders, Waki, that i left. He asked why? Which is ironic, considering originally he was not fond of me being in the group. He was one of the biggest supporters of me leaving. He was the one who asked me to leave. But, it was the principle.. the history.. being the only known girl to be in the group. He asked me if i'd come back. So, i did.
Why did i relate that story? *thinks for a moment* Oh yeah.. Sage Seda and profiles.. i read profiles. LOL.. Well, if you've read some of the descriptions in girls' profiles, you'll find that they often put their whole name. Their first, middle, last name and then the last names of their parent or parents. Well, MY middle name is Victoria. I received this name from Ankii. He just yelled it out once, "Sage Victoria Kostenbaum!" So, it stuck. :) I put my WHOLE name in my profile discription.. it's HUGE. As I started: the name i'm most know as is Sage Kostenbaum, my REAL name is: Sage Victoria Quintessa Dreamscape Kostenbaum Haiku. Quintessa and Dreamscape are my parents' lastnames and Haiku is my auntie's who claims she's my dad. LOLOL..
Back to when i mentioned that i've had 2 recent dramas in my life. I have had my own share of drama, and it is so true that drama makes SL miserable. Although some people like it, because without it, "life" would be dull. I am not going to discuss some of the drama i've experienced. I wish to not relive them, and this is my blog so i will choose what i will discuss. :P But, just recently i had 2, in my opinion, dramatic things happen. And, you know.. sometimes great things come from drama. You know how drama happens? We invest our feelings into this virtual place. And, i don't think we can help it. Some people call Second Life a game. To many, and myself included, Second Life is NOT a game. There are no levels to complete, you don't slay any monsters, you don't earn anything.. well, i suppose you COULD compare it to a game, (the levels of friendship, the demons you possess or those who cause your drama, you earn friendship and Linden) but it's not. But, sometimes when your feelings get hurt, you have to step back and tell yourself it isn't real, it's just a game.. but, essentially it's not a game. Anyway, i HAD a friend who owned a clothing store. She IMed me informing that she was hiring Customer Service Representatives. So, because she came directly to me, I immediately assumed, which you should NEVER do, that i would get a position. When i found out that i cried, i cried.. i CRIED in real life. I went to my room, laid down and bawled... and then i thought.. WHY AM I CRYING? Cuz, i got my hopes up. I thought i had this job nailed. Well, i asked her why she didn't employ me, and i was happy for the girls who got the positions.. turns out one she knew one for 2 years and could trust if she went out of town, and the other she wanted to give the opportunity. She knew feelings were going to get hurt. She was only hiring 2 people and many applied. Mine got hurt cuz i misunderstood her telling me. I told my mom, she went to her telling her how wonderful i am, like any mother feels about her child, and i tried to explain to this girl that i didn't want my mother to go to her.. unfortunately in the end, this girl defriended me. : [
The second drama: I applied at another girl's clothing store. Why would i put myself through that again? I thought, perhaps i'd be hired, cuz, in my opinion, i filled out a great application. My references were 2 of the owners friends, who were also my friends, and my brother who would have uber positive things to say about me. And, i had to submit photos. I turned it in, waited a week. Yes, the application said don't contact the hiring manager, if she didn't get in touch with you, you didn't get the job.. but, i asked her if i got it, and if not why. I kept thinking about it.. how was i to know? Was i just supposed to wonder? What's wrong with asking? She responded that the answer was NO and that my look wasn't what they were looking for. Of course i was offended! I IMed her saying, that i was cute, VERY cute. She responded not cute enough to work for them. :( Wow.. ouch.. Well, the reason i share all this, is because through all this... i did get a job. :) I shared with my friend who owns a clothing store, with super cute clothing, what happened. She said, I'd hire you. :) So, i'm very excited. Just cuz drama that seems horrible at the time, and still does when you think back on it, slams a door in your face.. a window will open. Someone will extend their hand and say, you are cute and i want you to work for me. :) *whispers* Thank you Chelsea!
Oh, and i started school today.. but, i discuss that on another day.. along with who Koffee is (and Yuki) and what that show is that i mentioned.
Oh, and i started school today.. but, i discuss that on another day.. along with who Koffee is (and Yuki) and what that show is that i mentioned.
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